The Crazy Normality

Every now and again, I stop and think, "I live in a tropical, tourist destination!" It rocks, really. Sometimes I start smiling walking down the street just because I love life here. The white-domed cathedral, the volcano, the beach, the colors, the smells, the sounds. Life in Nicaragua is great. Granted, I do the same thing when walking in Burns Harbor, Indiana or Sioux Center, Iowa. It's a gift to love the place you are.

However, life in Nicaragua is also normal. It's normal life for me to speak in Spanish, to run to the corner store for milk in the morning, to have to try to figure out what to do about a leaking faucet and a smoking outlet (yes, all real-life situations for me today). I recently wrote in a newsletter that August and September are going to be pretty routine for me. Apparently the normal routine means that I spend 3 days of my week in Managua, one in Chinandega, and the other 3 in León trying to rest while balancing the work that needs to get done. Sometimes it feels a little out of control. Nonetheless, I am enjoying the pastoral visits, and I like getting reports done (I don't like actually writing them).

That said, there are other CRAZY parts of my life that I can't seem to get over when I pause to think about them. Let me give you an example of things today that struck me.
1) I went to be the judge of a singing contest with English students at a high school. I met the English teacher two weeks ago at another English singing contest, and she asked me to help out. I figure it's my duty as a native English speaker, and so I agreed even though I don't have any connections to this school. There I am, white skin, honey-colored hair, blue eyes, center of the attention of a lot of high school students when I walk in. I don't know if I'll ever get used to being so remarkable here. It feels very strange to me, the way people react to me.

2) After finishing at the school, I went to visit a pastoral couple. This couple is one that I have grown close to, but I felt like it had been a long time since we had a heart-to-heart, so I paid a visit to see how they are really doing. The pastor had to go visit another church, but his wife and I shared lunch together and talked about life. It amazes me that these heroes of the faith, dedicated servants of God, open up to me about their lives and let me be a pastor to them in some ways. It's a completely normal part of my job, and yet it moves me to tears that I have the privilege of walking alongside these incredible ministers in the faith.

3) On the bus on my way home, we got pulled over. These stops have been becoming routine. In some places they check documents, and at this particular stop, they have asked young men to show their bags, and the officers check their seats. There was a young man seated next to me, and they asked him to get off and show them his bags. As they started going through his backpack and lunch on the bench, another officer mounted the bus and started poking the seat the young man had been in. Then he sat down next to me, and his supervisor said, "There, the bag by your leg!" And they said they found marijuana! But they didn't make anyone else get off, and after a few minutes, the driver closed the doors to continue on our way. No questions asked. The young man stayed behind, and I have no idea what happened to him.

This is normal life for me these days. It all seems very crazy. Regardless, I am thankful. God is good, and he takes care of me no matter what.

Chasing the Sunset

My heart feels full lately. Lots of new experiences, fulfilling events that fill me with wonder and delight at God's goodness and faithfulness in my life and the lives of people around me. I have seen prayers answered, lavish generosity poured out, faith like a child's, healing granted, laughter and love and tears. All of these things dance in my head, and I have been looking for how to express them in blog-sized pieces.

But tonight, the other side of things came into play. The side where I feel like an outsider, wondering how long I have to be here before people stop needing to explain things to me. Wishing I could sit on the porch with a drink and the company of my parents after a long day of work. Chasing the sunset.

I live in the city of León. While it's a beautiful city, it has a lot of tall buildings. As I was coming home in the late afternoon light, reflecting on the conversation I had just had with several pastoral couples in Chinandega, the sky was alight with color and the breeze was cool. I had to see the sunset. I put down my bag and took off on my bicycle, headed west.

My eyes feasted on the blazing orange in the clouds above me. Hardly paying attention to the other things around me, I focused on the heavens and tried to find higher ground so I could see above the buildings. To no avail. The sun set without me. The sky's fire went out. Disappointed, feeling like I should head home so I could go to church, I turned around.

The view to the east was powerful too, though. Dark storm clouds piled high (Lord, please send us rain. We are in a drought and need it badly), the fading light highlighting just enough to see their majesty.

Sometimes, we are looking so hard for something, we miss the other views around us. I'm not saying that those moments where we long for "home," for going back to the way things were, for seeing the beauty of the sun hit the horizon, they won't necessarily go away ever. And it's okay to grieve what once was. But there are new views, new loves, new homes. May we ever be pilgrims with broken hearts as we live on earth, chasing after the Son because only He can truly show us glory.