More Definition

A lot of times in this process of going to Nicaragua, my answer to people's questions has been, "I don't know." Well, I know a few more things now!

1) When: I am flying to Nicaragua on January 2, should arrive around lunchtime in Managua.

2) What: assisting and supporting the Ezra team of the Nehemiah Center and their programs and projects. I worked with the Ezra team, consisting of Nicaraguans, for my internship at the Nehemiah Center three years ago, and I loved it. I look forward to supporting the programs of this group!

3) Who: we have a possible host family for me to live with for the first three months!

It's hard to function with a lot of unknowns; therefore, I am encouraged and excited to get some more information. I am looking forward to being involved with a new program of the Nehemiah Center in León. My former host family and friends say they're looking forward to seeing me again, too. I was feeling a bit discouraged, but a few encouraging emails from my supervisors have really given me some focus and inspiration again.

Hanging Out

As part of my pre-field preparations, I have been reading several books, including When Helping Hurts: How to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself  by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. The book talks extensively about the need to focus on relationship and process when doing developmental relief work rather than simply giving out money or starting programs to generate a certain product or fix. I agree with the importance of working with local people in order to help them improve their situation, especially in the ways they see fit. Who wants an outsider coming and telling us how to fix everything that's wrong with us?

In When Helping Hurts, the authors recount the story of New Song, a ministry founded by Mark Gornik and Allen and Susan Tibbels. When New Song began, they were located in an inner-city neighborhood, but they had no plans to save or change the area; they simply wanted to learn the agenda of the community and live on their terms. Gornik wrote:

We held tightly to a commitment of God's shalom for Sandtown, but we had no plans or programs. Instead of imposing our own agendas, we sought to place our lives in service to the community... Community came through having fun together, sharing our lives, and learning to be followers of Christ together.

The authors of When Helping Hurts commented, "Imagine going to a donor and asking for funds to transform a city through 'hanging out'!" (Corbett and Fikkert, When Helping Hurts, 2009: 82-83).

That is precisely what I plan to do in Nicaragua. Go and hang out. Do life with people from another country, with different experiences from me, with different expectations of life. I'm not going to fix things or report on how many lives I have changed. I can't do any of that anyways - only God's Spirit can bring true change to individuals and systems. However, I can go with an attitude of humility, learning from Nicaraguans and sharing with them. I can focus on process and relationships rather than products and results. I can try to live as an ambassador for Jesus, just by "hanging out." Seems like a pretty great way to help with community development to me.

Going to Nicaragua

I mentioned in my last post that I'll be going to Nicaragua with Christian Reformed World Missions. Since that time, I've been busy writing and sending out an introductory newsletter. Funds have started to come in, and I've been reading books on poverty, cross-cultural awareness, and community development.

I believe that every Christian is a missionary in his or her daily work regardless of the job,
but over the past few years I have felt a call to a cross-cultural ministry. I spent four years at
Dordt College majoring in Spanish and theology, including a semester in Nicaragua. I went
to Trinity Western University for a master’s degree in a Bible translation program. One step
at a time, God has been refining His call for me. When I completed my degree in April, I
still had no idea what lay ahead of me. While meditating on Genesis 2, I felt God telling me
to do what was placed before me. Around that time, a contact in Nicaragua and I started
emailing, and he encouraged me to consider their project in León. Everything fell into place,
and I am convinced that God has placed this opportunity before me.

Lord willing, in January 2014, I will join a new program that the Nehemiah Center is
developing in León, Nicaragua. With other Nicaraguans and North Americans, I will seek
to foster a community of spiritual study, prayer, work, and play to support the community
of Christians in the city as they work to better engage their neighbors. My job will
include bridging gaps, lending support to local organizations, and working to strengthen
relationships between local pastors and the people of León. I cannot do anything on my own,
but I believe that God, who has called me, will faithfully carry out His work in my life, the
lives of people in Nicaragua, and your lives as we participate in God’s Kingdom.

On the bottom of my first newsletter the verse from 2 Thessalonians 5:24 says, "The One who calls you is faithful , and He will do it." This verse reminds me of the struggle the past year has been for me, but God has been faithful. Even when I feel woefully inadequate, lost, and fearful, He will do whatever needs to be done. I'm not trusting in me to change the world, or even people in Nicaragua. I'm counting on God.

Dreaming

As I lie in my childhood bed , I look around my room. Though most of my decorations have been packed up, I still have a bulletin board full of pictures and quotes. One quote at the top of the board says, "Real beauty is dreaming big dreams." I started thinking about my dreams lately, and how some of my biggest dreams have been realized.

Last Christmas as I traveled home, I felt miserable. I didn't know what I was going to do after school. I had lost interest in studying. I felt as though I were walking through a desolate wasteland, lost and hopeless. During that time, I asked myself what I would do if I could do absolutely anything, without worrying about doing God's call or disappointing others. My weary heart whispered that I would like to travel. I wanted to go to Nicaragua for a mission trip (maybe with my aunt and uncle who go annually), and I wanted to go to Europe to visit Edo and his family, especially to meet his baby girl. However, I thought these dreams would take at least a year to come true - if they ever did - because I had to finish school, and I didn't anticipate graduating until August 2013.

To make a long story short, I ended up with more classes in the spring, and I finished off a degree in Linguistics and Exegesis by April 2013. I went to the Netherlands to live with Edo for the summer, and I got to be the nanny for his daughter, Julie, for a month as well as travel to different places. It was one of the greatest gifts I could have asked for, better than I had hoped.

As the months became warmer from Christmas to summer, I felt like my desolate wasteland inside was greening up. While at Taizé monastery in France in June, I realized that I was walking through a lush garden inside instead of a scary wilderness. Over the past six months, I have clung to a blessing from Common Prayer by Shane Claiborne et al. It goes like this:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you : wherever he may send you.

May he guide you through the wilderness : protect you through the storm.

May he bring you home rejoicing : at the wonders he has shown you.

May he bring you home rejoicing : once again into our doors. 

At first, I clung to the peace of Christ as I went through wilderness and storms. Now I have begun rejoicing in the wonders I have seen. I am awed by the way God has worked in my heart and life. I no longer feel lost and afraid. He has taught me to dream again, and he has fulfilled my desires.

Now I am living at home again for a few months, but in January, I will go to Nicaragua for a year, Lord willing. I have been accepted to Christian Reformed World Missions. While in Nicaragua I will be involved in developing a community of work, play, prayer, and fellowship. As I build relationships with my teammates (cohorts in community, you might call us) and the people of León, Nicaragua, I will endeavor to demonstrate that the love of Jesus transforms all of life. Concretely, I will likely be helping in local organizations that need extra hands and minds, supporting local pastors and leaders in their work. It's a new program, developing under the supervision of the Nehemiah Center, so we don't know exactly how everything will go yet. I'm excited, though. I get to return to the city where I lived three years ago. Friends and adopted family will be there, and the gallo pinto (rice and beans mixed together, a typical dish) is plentiful. That's my big news, my next step: Nicaragua! Until then, I'll be raising financial and prayer support among churches and individuals, going to orientation sessions, and brushing up on my Spanish and Nicaraguan knowledge. Our God is a God of big dreams, and he sees them through. Yay!

 

The Oudmans go to Washington

Three weeks ago, I had the privilege of road-tripping to Washington D.C. with my brother, Dirk. We took a circuitous route, going up to Sarnia, ON to visit an old family friend, then down to Ohio to see family, but we finally made it to the capital city. Having recently been in capital cities of Europe, I was excited to visit the United States' capital again since I enjoyed it so much the times I visited before. Needless to say, it was easy to don my "tourist mode" again as I toured around with Dirk. 

D.C. has become Dirk's home for the semester as he interns with the Center for Public Justice and takes some leadership classes as part of his last year of university. Before we settled him into his dorm, we spent a day exploring the city and visiting our favorite sites as well as some new ones.

Dirk and I hanging out on a hot day at the Washington Mall, in front of the capitol building.

We'd recently watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington with Jimmy Stewart during a family night, and it was fun to see the capitol dome that makes that idealistic young man so excited. I hope Dirk will be able to stick to his guns just as well as Jimmy Stewart.

Due to earthquake damage in 2011, the entire Washington Monument was closed for restoration. When our family went to DC 6 years ago, we walked down the stairs inside and had a tour of all the special stones that States and people donated to the monument. Needless to say there was no tour this year.

The Lincoln Memorial is iconic for Washington, and just plain inspiring. It has quotes from President Lincoln on the walls. Unfortunately, it seems to always be crowded. Maybe Dirk will get to hang out with the statue on a quieter day.

Leaning against the Monument, holding up the other side of the world. I took a picture like this with the Eiffel Tower in Paris, too. It seemed like a good mirror image.

Dirk especially wanted to see the Korean War Memorial. Near the Vietnam Memorial, this shiny black wall has etchings of faces instead of names, and you feel like one of the soldiers advancing through the underbrush. It made me think of Grandpa since he almost had to go to Korea when he was drafted during the war. His time ended just before his unit deployed.

My favorite memorial is the one of Franklin D. Roosevelt. Dirk took a picture of me with FDR's wife, Eleanor. An accomplished lady. I hope I can serve God and others too, even if I never have a statue with an inscription like she does.

We found the Center for Public Justice, where Dirk will spend the majority of his time for the semester. Hopefully his striking profile will help him get the job done. ;)

Finally, we found his dorm and classroom building. When we had to return with all of his stuff the next day, we felt like pros since we had already scoped out the neighborhood.

Other highlights of the trip to Washington, D.C. were dining at Old Ebbitt's Grill (the place to be in DC), and underestimating rush hour traffic as I tried to flee the city after moving Dirk.

We also visited the Holocaust Museum while we were there. It was informative and interesting, but also very moving. I learned things I had never known about Jews, Germans, and World War II. The museum was especially powerful for me because I had just been in Berlin a few weeks before. Seeing different sides of the same story impacted me deeply.

With this adventure to the capital city, I feel a renewed sense of pride and belonging in my country. Visiting the US capital seemed like a good way to end a summer of travel. I hope to be a good ambassador for the US as I travel the world, seeking to spread ideals of liberty and justice for all. However, it doesn't end with citizenship for me. If the United States is the final standard for the world, it is not good enough. Rather, justice is rooted in the kingdom of God, who brings true freedom to people. Peace, Jesus offers. I pledge allegiance.

Culture Shock

I have been back in the United States for one week. Adjusting to living in my hometown again is more difficult than I expected. This is the first time in 6 years that I have been here without a definite date to leave again. Walking around our annual town festival on Saturday, an old friend and I remarked that it was like a bad family reunion. I continue to feel surprised by how many people I know. Some things have changed, and some have not.

Here are a few of the shocks I have experienced, things that are totally different from what I have become accustomed to:

• No one says "eh" 
• The rate of speech is much faster than I have been hearing for the past three months
• I don't sound like I have an accent anymore (well, to anyone not from the Chicagoland area, I have a definite accent)
• I went for a run Sunday morning and did not see a single other pedestrian, and the number of cars could be counted on one hand
• I got chased by a ferocious dog on my run
• Everything is big
• I don't hear noises from any neighbors when I am in my house
• No wireless internet at my house
• I recognized and could name most of the people at my church
• It's hot
• We have air conditioning
• There are screens on the windows and doors, and they must be used
• No mountains
• No ocean or sea
• No public transportation within a half hour of my house
• There are fireflies over the cornfields
• I wore a t-shirt and shorts to town without feeling under-dressed

I could go on and on because there are so many things that are different here. I have not yet braved a grocery store, but I'm sure that will be another adventure into the land of the unknown - or at least long-forgotten. I guess all of this change is good for enhancing my adaptability though. :)

Crossing walls

Edo and I went to Berlin for a weekend as a sibling bonding event. Berlin is a fascinating city, and we enjoyed a tourist-tour via bikes for the majority of Saturday. On Sunday we got our own bikes and went to an old castle (Schloss Charlottenburg) and the East Side Gallery, the longest remaining piece of the Berlin Wall, which is dedicated to artistic expression. The pictures on the wall, painted in graffiti style, were fascinating. On the other side of the wall, pictures of walls that still exist today provided a moving display.

The moment of the trip that impressed me the most can be captured in this photo:

All through Berlin they have a strip of cobblestones or concrete where the wall once stood that separated Western, capitalist Berlin from Eastern, socialist Berlin. The wall went up overnight in the 60s, and it opened overnight in 1989. A wall that separated families and standards of living and personal freedom for twenty years. People were killed trying to cross the boundary between the halves of the city. Now, the city hardly shows the division between east and west. We walked over the strip of the Berlin wall like it was no big deal, as easy as strolling on the beach, while people died trying to cross when I was still alive.

The wall is now a place for people to point out that walls still exist in our world. I did not even know about many of the walls that exist, including one on the US-Mexico border. It's incredible that we can accept things so that they seem normal, or even expected. Looking back in history, we see that these walls or practices or wars were not acceptable at all. I hope and pray that I will have the compassion and awareness to recognize the walls in my life and to take them down so that crossing them is as easy as crossing the street.