Thoughts on Virtue

"You must ask for God's help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given.
Never mind.
After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.
...The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."
~C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity, p. 101

Magic

Look at them there
hanging in the sky,
so perfect and awe-inspiring,
so inexplicable.
Majestic puffs and globs we call clouds...

No. Stop. Don't give the scientific rationale
of water vapor and refraction.
Take a moment to think about how
something as simple and ordinary as clouds
can be mind-blowing.

All the pieces that need to come together
to make these shapes in the sky
that are always changing.
Can we predict what they'll look like,
or why?
They are pearly white or threateningly dark,
wispy and solid, house-like and barely there.
Don't let yourself believe you understand it.

Even with reasonable explanations
we don't comprehend.
How does the wind blow just so,
and the sun shine just right?
They change so quickly,
always capture the eye...


Stop. Let it blow your mind.
Incomprehensible, really, when you ponder it.

And if we open ourselves to the possibility
that we don't even understand clouds,

how can we think that we can begin
to grasp life, or love, or even God?
This great question that we must wrestle with
We are left to puzzle and ponder, soak and seek
and in the end, Love, somehow.

What's not to Love?

Happy Valentine's Day! 

Some people have adverse reactions to the day, but I do not (even though I don't have a significant other). To me, Valentine's Day does not have any special significance except that which we are willing to give it. It's a nice day to remember friends and loved ones. It does not have to be full of pressure and romantic obligations. 

When I was growing up, sometimes my dad gave my mom flowers, and sometimes he didn't. He brought her flowers on days it wasn't Valentine's, too. My mom never seemed to get upset if he didn't, and she was appreciative if he did. 

A day about love shouldn't be forced. It should be fun. It should be a good opportunity to do something special. We did special things at school today. For a fundraiser, some classmates sold giant sugar cookies in the shape of hearts. Students could order cookies for their friends. They were delicious and made me feel special. Also, the students decided to "dress their best" to surprise the teachers and also to commemorate Valentine's Day. I borrowed a prom dress from a friend and wore it to school. I looked and felt like a princess. How often does a girl get a reason to dress fancy after high school ends and there are no more dances? So I took full advantage of the situation. It's not an everyday sort of thing, but it was fun to do. Here's a picture of my friend Rachael and I, with the cookie Rae gave me, outside CanIL:

Valentine's Day is important not only because it helps me remember to tell my loved ones that they are special and it lets me pause to do fun things, but also because it reminds me of a greater love. If I get bummed about not getting flowers (which I don't. But last year my brother Dirk got me flowers, and it was wonderful), or not having someone special take me out, I remember that I have the best love of all. Yes, it sounds cheesy, but I cannot deny that the love of Jesus fills me up more than anyone else in the world. How can I explain the perfect sunshine or the cloudy mountains? The mist rising above the fields and the flowers blooming in the ditch. The smile on a face or kind words of someone who knows me best. They are love notes from Him, my first love. It would be easy to quote "for God so loved the world that he gave his only son..." and let that be my mantra for Valentine's Day, but it's not really. Everyone knows that verse. In some ways, we skip it because we already know it. It's not any less true or powerful, but it loses it's effect sometimes. 

This verse, though, captured my heart five years ago, and it won't let me go. I mean, who writes like this? Who loves like this? God's love is not limited to Jesus in the New Testament. He has been loving us all along, our great Savior, with a love that will not let go:

For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

I gave up Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba as a ransom for your freedom.

Others died that you might live.

I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. 

You are honored, and I love you.

Isaiah 43:3-4, NLT

With that in mind, what's not to love about Valentine's Day?

You brought the sunshine in my life

For the past three days, the weather in the Lower Mainland has been gorgeous! I have been enamored with the blue skies and sunshine.

I have been so in awe of the beauty that I thought I would take some pictures and share them. These are my everyday views - as long as the clouds are gone. :)

 Mount Baker, in the U.S.

These are the mountains I can see from my house. I don't know their names, but they are gorgeous.

Golden Ears, and Walnut Grove (the area of Langley where I live) lying in front of it, behind the trees

I was biking to work, and I stopped to take these photos on the overpass above Highway 1

This is 208, the road I bike to work

More of the view...This is what I see when I go running on sunny days!

I work at the Langley Events Centre as Event Staff for Trinity Western athletic games. Usually I am the scoresheet person for hockey games. I can also run score clock for volleyball, hand out programs, and set up the courts for basketball, volleyball, and hockey games. It's a pretty good job with flexible weekend hours.

Sunday I went to a place in north Vancouver called Deep Cove with my adoptive family from church and some other friends. It was an easy enough hike that I didn't get crabby and the four year olds could walk most of it by themselves. 

Lots of bridges! The water was so clear. I had to keep reminding myself to look around and enjoy the beauty of the walk. 

Unfortunately, by the time we got to the top, the clouds were coming over again. We could still see blue skies and sun in the distance, though. The girl in the pink jack is my Ruby, and the other people are the friends who came with us.

Great views!

Paul, Danielle, and Atticus conferring over snacks and packing up our stuff as we prepared to head back down. Danielle says I'm the adult daughter she wishes she had...lol (She would have been VERY young when she had me)

All in all, it has been a great weekend. My heart lifts with joy at the beautiful weather and the great views, as well as wonderful people to share them with. Yes, the Lord is good. I'm thankful for tangible reminders that help me feel it again.

Fantasy Land

This morning I looked out my window and saw a land of fairy tales. The mountains to the north looked like I could I have walked to them and been in Narnia or some other magical place. I was thinking about what it would be like to be on the mountain, misty and mysterious, but alive with sunshine, and I realized: I probably wouldn't have noticed. I would have seen foggy, snowy trees but nothing of the grandeur I see from far away. I would have been tired of climbing, not stopping to look around me in awe.

We rarely realize the wonder while we wander through it.

This is true not only for vistas and beautiful pieces of nature, but also for moments in life. So often I look  back on experiences with fondness and realize how they were important. In the midst of the moments, it's hard to realize what is going on.

I feel like myself again. It's like I'm reflecting on my life from far away...Somehow I got off the mountain and can see where I've come to. I've started calling the yellow house on 212 street "home." I sing more often, laugh more genuinely, and feel more thankful. For now, I've stopped wrestling with God about why I'm here. I am learning to be content, and I am resting here. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. 

What a wonder.