Yes, homeless. For the time being. I'm traveling for the next three months. I graduated a week ago today, packed up my life in BC, said goodbyes, and headed to Alberta to visit family. I'm spending different nights at my aunt's and uncle's houses before flying across the big blue to the Netherlands for the summer. I'll be living in the Hague with my Dutch brother, his wife, and four-month-old daughter. I'll be the nanny for the month of May, stealing a weekend away to visit a friend from school in BC in Venice. Then I'll be in France for several weeks traveling around, visiting my adopted family from BC and probably going to Taize monastery before returning to the Netherlands for the month of July. That's as far as I have planned. I'll probably go other places, but I want to leave the schedule open.
I'm looking forward to some school-free time. Time to refresh, reconnect with God and who He wants me to be. I'm looking forward to being totally engrossed in an infant's life, giving up my own desires for those of another person. Maybe I'll be regretting those words soon, but right now, I have high hopes.
After the summer, you ask? No plans. I'm taking it one step at a time. I've got plans until the first weekend of August, and that's enough for me. I trust that God will make my path clear when I need to know. Yeah, I know it's not the way that most people expect life to be after earning a master's degree, but thus far, God hasn't asked me to do what everyone else does. I doubt He'll start any time soon. So I'm still learning the lessons he wants. Die to self. Find my home in him. Rest contentedly in his will. To suffer, which produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope (Ro 5:4). I can do no more.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Done with class!
Today was my last day of classes at CanIL, and for the foreseeable future. I didn't even realize it until my last class of the day was over. Then I got very excited and actually squealed it out for the whole class to hear.
Somehow the three exams and major paper standing in my way yet deter me from full celebration. But there are reasons for celebration regardless. In two weeks, I'll be gone from British Columbia, and I'll have no idea if/when I'll ever return. There's a lot to do in the next two weeks. It is my hope and prayer that I can focus on the good and be fully "present" for my last days here even though I'll be tempted to wallow in fear and sadness and questions. It's always hard for me to leave a place, to leave people, to leave what is familiar. Time marches on, though. All humans move, change. God give us the grace to move on with smiles on our faces and no regrets.
Somehow the three exams and major paper standing in my way yet deter me from full celebration. But there are reasons for celebration regardless. In two weeks, I'll be gone from British Columbia, and I'll have no idea if/when I'll ever return. There's a lot to do in the next two weeks. It is my hope and prayer that I can focus on the good and be fully "present" for my last days here even though I'll be tempted to wallow in fear and sadness and questions. It's always hard for me to leave a place, to leave people, to leave what is familiar. Time marches on, though. All humans move, change. God give us the grace to move on with smiles on our faces and no regrets.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Accent Mutt
This morning in church I was pondering the spelling differences between Canadian and US English. And I was thinking about the way my mouth forms words like "God" and "sorrow" now. These language differences and the fact that I ponder them reflect that I am a linguist.
I am a linguist! In fact, I will be graduating with a master's of linguistics and exegesis in two weeks' time. And then I have no idea what I will do with this degree. I'm going to Europe for the summer, and I'm eager to spend some time with my Dutch brother Edo and his family as well as friends in Italy, France, and Germany. Lately I've been considering how I will have the opportunity to begin learning at least three different languages this summer, and I'm excited about that.
But it's also kind of disheartening. I have it in my head that graduation should bring some closure, new plans, and an opportunity to settle down somewhere. Instead, my life is looking more and more tumultuous. A trip to Europe, family reunions, and no long terms plans whatsoever.
All of this change is exciting in some ways, but it exacerbates my longing for a normal life. I want to settle down somewhere, get a job, and be a contributing member of society. However, a nagging niggle inside makes me doubt that "settled" will describe my life any time soon. I will always be an accent mutt; no matter where I go, people will think that I sound different. I'll have strains of Chicago, Canada, even Iowa in my English. Nicaraguan gestures continue to salt my interactions in North America. I am fairly certain I'll pick up some European - specifically Dutch - intonation and habits as well. Though these influences demonstrate the rich opportunities I've had in life, they also remind me that I'm not at "home" and probably never will be. In these times of change when sometimes I just want to hold onto the old ways and never let go, I have to continually open my hands and open my heart to the people and places before me. I have to remember again that I will never be truly home in the world, for the only place I find rest and "home" is in Jesus Christ, my Lord.
I am a linguist! In fact, I will be graduating with a master's of linguistics and exegesis in two weeks' time. And then I have no idea what I will do with this degree. I'm going to Europe for the summer, and I'm eager to spend some time with my Dutch brother Edo and his family as well as friends in Italy, France, and Germany. Lately I've been considering how I will have the opportunity to begin learning at least three different languages this summer, and I'm excited about that.
But it's also kind of disheartening. I have it in my head that graduation should bring some closure, new plans, and an opportunity to settle down somewhere. Instead, my life is looking more and more tumultuous. A trip to Europe, family reunions, and no long terms plans whatsoever.
All of this change is exciting in some ways, but it exacerbates my longing for a normal life. I want to settle down somewhere, get a job, and be a contributing member of society. However, a nagging niggle inside makes me doubt that "settled" will describe my life any time soon. I will always be an accent mutt; no matter where I go, people will think that I sound different. I'll have strains of Chicago, Canada, even Iowa in my English. Nicaraguan gestures continue to salt my interactions in North America. I am fairly certain I'll pick up some European - specifically Dutch - intonation and habits as well. Though these influences demonstrate the rich opportunities I've had in life, they also remind me that I'm not at "home" and probably never will be. In these times of change when sometimes I just want to hold onto the old ways and never let go, I have to continually open my hands and open my heart to the people and places before me. I have to remember again that I will never be truly home in the world, for the only place I find rest and "home" is in Jesus Christ, my Lord.
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