Daily Bread

Lately, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by all the things on my plate. This past week, I went to Managua three days in a row for different reasons. They were good reasons, don't get me wrong. There was a baby shower on Tuesday, and I spent the night with a friend. Then I returned to León on Wednesday with a new family that has just moved to Nicaragua as partner missionaries. Thursday I returned to Managua for a meeting with Missionary Ventures International about IMPACT Clubs. I decided to write out all the stuff that's going on for me lately:

This coming week looks just as crazy. Monday in Managua for meetings at the Nehemiah Center. Tuesday to Managua for Cohort related stuff, helping Josiah, the husband of the new family, drop off Gordon and Peggy before they go on a trip for their anniversary. Wednesday I go to Chinandega for a church partnership meeting. Thursday I'm in charge of logistics for the biblical worldview trainings we have every week for a group of 13 churches who will be part of the second phase of ETU, our community development program. Friday, back to Chinandega because I'm in charge of the logistics for the domestic violence training that ETU is starting there this week. Saturday we're off to Managua for a Christian Reformed Church spiritual retreat for several days.

Considering my schedule over the past few weeks and the work that is ahead of me, I feel intimidated, like I put on a "shirt 11 yards wide" (as the saying is in Nicaragua). In church this morning, I brought this mental list before God and asked for Him to work through me. The sermon was about living as children of the king, with all the privileges of royalty because God is taking care of us. Then the pastor invited us to the front to be changed people. It was a struggle for me, but I finally joined the rest of the congregation (about 40 people) at the front of the room. And that's when I asked God to help me love in a ridiculous, outrageous fashion. I asked Jesus to help me give away my power and empty myself of any illusion of control. I asked the Holy Spirit to dwell in me richly. But they were just words, a prayer. I didn't feel a big change, I didn't cry or speak in tongues or anything.

Then we shared communion. The Lord's Supper has always been a powerful sign for me, and its power continues to grow for me the longer I get to partake in this sacrament. Today was the first time I got to celebrate communion with my Nicaraguan church. I think it was the first time I've had communion since coming to Nicaragua.

It brought me to tears.

Communion today was a beautiful sign and reminder that God fills me up. He is the one who gives me strength to continue, grace to extend, wisdom to act or refrain. By eating the bread and drinking the juice in remembrance of Christ's sacrifice for me, I was filled. In the midst of all my irons burning around me, the Lord calmed me and strengthened me through the simple act of eating a cracker and taking a drink of juice. I am in awe of how God answers my prayers in the best ways.