Simple escapes

This week, we begin the goodbye process as the Caminantes in Nicaragua. Guissell and I are finishing our time here. Last projects are being completed, policies have been revised and proofread, new participants may be on their way. Today we get the chance to look back on the year (year and a half for Guissell) to talk about the good and the bad.

Then, as a special treat, we get a goodbye trip. I haven't really told very many people where we are going. It is unusual for me not to divulge lots of details about my plans, but for some reason, I have not been telling everyone I am going to Corn Island on the east coast of Nicaragua. I don't want them to jump to conclusions or think I am living in an excess of luxury. Corn Island is a place that is not accessible to everyone. That's why Guissell chose it as our destination - she probably won't have another opportunity to go there outside of the program.

I am really excited. I have heard good things about the island, and many people have recommended the trip to me. It will be good to have a retreat time where we can reflect on the year, enjoy the beach, and relax. We have been reading about the island, planning. We have two special guests accompanying us (our other housemate and my brother), and we are looking forward to hanging out together to enjoy the beach, snorkeling, a new part of the world, and time to relax.

But like I said, part of me doesn't want to tell anyone. I think this is related to my trip to El Salvador and my questions about how I live simply as a person of privilege. Guilt, questions, healthy reflection. I think I'm going through a mix of all of it.

Then this morning in my devotions, I read a chapter in Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline about simplicity. The heart of simplicity is to seek FIRST the kingdom of God. Salvation does not come from things, nor the lack of things. Simplicity is an attitude that receives things as a gift, expects things to be cared for by God, and makes them available to others (Foster, "Simplicity" p. 88). Emphasizing the need to seek the Kingdom FIRST, not the myriad of justice issues that plague us, he quotes Kierkegaard:

Then in  a certain sense it is nothing I shall do. yes, certainly, in a certain sense it is nothing, become nothing before God, learn to keep silent; in this silence is the beginning, which is, first to seek God's Kingdom.

Thinking about an island getaway, it seems to me that I can look at it in this simple way. My first job is not to fix the wealth problems of the world, to feel guilty for the sins of my ancestors as well as my present generation, or to justify every choice I make. Seek the Kingdom FIRST.

I can receive a good gift like a trip to Corn Island as a lavish outpouring of God's love. It does not come from me. I do not deserve it. But God has chosen to bless me with it. My attitude matters more not in what I do or where I go, but how I receive these gifts and whether or not I am willing to seek God's kingdom FIRST in all things. So I am trying to change my attitude. I hope this trip for reflection and celebration will teach me even more how to become nothing before God, and in the silence, to seek his kingdom first.