Great Expectations

Life comes with a lot of expectations. Some of them are good, some demanding, some negative... Sometimes, expectations placed on us can be overwhelming.

I have been feeling a lot of pressure in the last few months to try to get everything done. I see that the areas in which I work (church friendships, youth program, and volunteers) are expanding, and that makes me happy because I feel like God is opening doors. However, it also overwhelms me because I don't know how to get everything done. I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform at 100% without feeling like I have a full tank. Consequently, I've been a bit sickly lately. Tired, not hungry, not sleeping. I went to the doctor, and after she saw test results, she said there's nothing medically wrong with me. So I just need to balance life a little better.

I have been putting less pressure on myself to do everything. Recognizing that my ability to function at all goes down when I am tired, I have been giving myself more permission to recover and not always be working. Sometimes this means a Netflix movie on the couch, sometimes it's shopping with a friend, sometimes it's an extra-long devotions time. Sorry to all of you who feel like I have dropped off the face of the earth. I really appreciate the notes and emails - I just haven't had the gumption to respond yet. We're working on that.

Some of the pressure in life comes from emotional transitions or big decisions, but there's also a lot going on at work. Many transitions and changes have taken place in the last six months, and the whole team at the Nehemiah Center is working very hard to adapt and perform at a higher level. Generally these changes are positive; they simply require extra effort because they are different.

The biggest change is that the Nehemiah Center is launching a training network in Managua. This past Wednesday, May 25, we hosted a vision conference with 50 pastors to introduce them to the Nehemiah Center and offer them an opportunity to walk with us for the next six months in trainings about how to be better churches. This event took a lot of work and planning, and we were all a little anxious about how it would go. We were expecting a lot from God: good attendance, high interest in further training, and a successful event. Praise Jesus, he fulfilled and surpassed expectations! We had a decent turnout from the people we invited (50 out of 65 confirmed), and over half want to participate in our next phase of training. We are all excited though a bit nervous about the extra work.

So while some expectations can stress us out or make us sick, others provide life and joy. What's the difference? I think I'm learning that when I expect great things from myself, I can rarely perform at the level I wish. Eventually I burn myself out or cause harm in some other way. However, when I expect great things from God, he comes through in big ways. With the Spirit's guidance and power, great expectations can be fulfilled even better than we imagined. To God be the glory!