Alive with color

I miss the view from my window in Indiana. Good thing there are some gorgeous flowers around Walnut Grove that I get to see as I ride my bike. Amazing artistry, this world. The beauty makes me think that all will be well.

Blogging on Cloudy Days

I was semi-productive tonight. I finished my parts for a group presentation. I read an article or two. I did some other stuff... can't remember because I was watching youtube clips as well. Anyways, the point is... After feeling like I got something done, I couldn't do any more. Yup, hit a wall. So I've been clicking through tabs, trying to convince myself to read the 46 page article I'm supposed to read, but getting distracted by all sorts of other things.

Blogs, in fact. I was stalking my friend Dannii's blog (even though she was on the couch next to me), and then I started clicking around on Tumblr. There are a lot of blogs out there to look at.

I've been thinking about my blog lately.

I feel like I have nothing to write. But I should write something, otherwise what's the point of having a blog? But it's not like I'm followed by anyone I don't know, really.

Most blogs have themes. The ones with followers, at least. But that would mean I have to pick a theme. And that would mean I would have to want some huge cyber following instead of just people I know checking in once in a while. I only follow people I know. Why should I expect anything different from people on my blog?

So there it is. Part of who I am, I guess. 23 years old and still figuring it out. I've moved again, and I'm realizing again that I still don't know what I want to be. This is related because if I made a topical blog, what would it be? I don't have an answer to that. There's not much really defining about me that I would choose to write about regularly.

I guess that's why I named this thing Adventurage. So I can write about all my life's adventures - the big and the small. And it's okay that not many people read it.

This post probably isn't really about blogging at all. It's about an existential crisis or something. Feeling like I don't know who I am or what is really important to me. Feeling like a lame person when someone asks what I like to do for fun and I don't have any ready answers. Sigh. I think I should just go to bed...

Oh, don't get too worried. I know the sun will shine again (it hasn't been here in the Lower Mainland lately). I also know that the sun is still there - even when I can't see it. Kind of like God. I guess it will all be well again...Even if I forget that on the cloudy days.

Isaiah 30:18

But the Lord still waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them.

What a Day!

Today was one of those days... definitely an adventure. First off, I got a bank account. Yep, no more transfer fees for me! I've got Canadian money. To go along with that, I think I've got myself a job. With Spartan (Trinity Western's mascot) Athletics Event Staff. I have to do some paperwork, but I've already volunteered to work at the soccer games this weekend. Yay! Praise the Lord for his provision. I was starting to get worried about a job.

In between the bank and the work meeting, I had class. This entailed biking to school - in the drizzle. I decided not to call my friend for a ride or take the bus. Nope, Adrianna Eliz was going to try biking in the rain to see how bad it was. I did turn around to grab extra pants at least. But after 20 minutes, I was still wet everywhere except under my new waterproof jacket! (Thanks, Mom and Dad :) )

Because of trying to dry myself with paper towels in the bathroom (ahem, washroom, as it's called in Canada), I was late to class. Oops. : S

So, class ends, I do some homework, enjoy the fact that my bottom has mostly dried (dry underwear would have been a good thing to pack as well as the pants), and go to the work meeting. I get out of the meeting and make my way back to the CanIL bike rack. I load up my backpack (thankful that it's no longer raining) and set off. Wait, what's that squeaky sound? Must be the plastic bag and backpack combo on my bike rack. Something is rubbing. Adjust, adjust. Still squeaking... Guess I'll just have to man up and wear my backpack again. Hmmm, still squeaking. I look down and see that it's the tire. Flat. Sigh... It's after 5 so I can't go to the maintenance shop. Bus time!

I am SO glad that I rode the bus in Nicaragua, and that Ruth (my hostess/landlady/friend's mom) and I chatted about how the bus system here works. My first solo bus experience in the States. The bus from the airport doesn't count. This was an actual public transit bus! Well, I had to walk a few blocks, but I made it back to the house just fine.

Then, to top off the evening on a happy note, Jayme (housemate/friend's sister) and I got sushi. Dannii made me drive her stick shift car. We didn't die, and we didn't stall. And the sushi was delicious! All in all, an adventurous day!

Newsy

I'm home for a couple of weeks. Well, home is a stretch of the word. In the first place, I hardly ever come to Indiana anymore. I've said goodbye to my childhood house three times now because my parents predict their move any month now (it will still be a while...). I'm more like a guest visiting when I come home now. Furthermore, these past three weeks, I have only been home three nights. Yes, folks, we are living on the job.

How did I get here? Well, the last time I checked in, I was taking finals and getting a new student visa. My brother visited me the last week of class, and I really enjoyed having him there. I liked that he got to meet my friends and see my new world in BC. Then we drove through the night on Friday to get to my grandparents' house in southern Alberta on Saturday morning. We spent a few days with the fam in Alberta (my dad's side), and we left on Wednesday. Dirk went to school in Iowa, and I went back to Indiana to work for a couple of weeks.

Since August 17, I've been living in a lake house. It sounds glamorous, but it's really not. We live in the two rooms we haven't torn apart. We are remodeling the house. I have decided that I like trim carpentry much better than remodeling or construction in general. Plus, I have gotten soft from my days behind a desk. The guys at school treat me like a girl, so I'm not used to lifting and digging and toting... It's tiring, this work stuff! :)

But it's not all work and no play. Since Tuesday, my five year old cousin stayed with us. He had a great time swimming in the lake, building a barn from scrap lumber, and hanging out with us. I got to take him to a steam museum on Saturday, and then we went to our church's Summer Celebration with a rock climbing wall, booths with crafts, free food, etc. It was a good time! Plus, I really enjoyed spending some time with this adorable little guy.

So what's next? Well, working this week, then going to Tennessee for a cousin's wedding. From TN I'll fly back to the Pacific Northwest and start classes after Labor Day. Yeah, more school. I'm doing the Master's program for Linguistics and Exegesis. We'll see what happens after that. :) Busy, busy, apparently.

I thought I would be settled by now. I would have liked to pick a place and start making a life. One where I didn't have to say goodbye all the time. Other people are used to it. They make comments to me about my jet-setting ways and say I've always been a traveler. Perhaps that's true, but I'd really like a home base. It's strange to only have places to visit. And so many loved ones scattered all over... Sigh. I will have to keep following Jesus and trusting that he has a good path for me even though it's not the one I would have preferred.

Borders

I'm thankful for a new visa that lets me study in Canada for the next three years! And for my friend, Dannii, who parked on a side road waiting for me to walk into immigration and looked sketchy at the border. Canada, looks like you're stuck with me for a while.

Yay for visiting people and going home. Boo for saying goodbye. It's been a good summer, and now we're crossing into new territories. Three classes down, one to go. Plus packing, cooking, cleaning, and hanging out. School is out for the summer, and we get a short respite before it starts again. All sorts of frontiers are being crossed - literally and figuratively.

It's both hard and good that I'm living these transitions over and over again. I'm learning that Jesus is my Home. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He is enough... at least, I'm praying he will be when I say goodbye to some dear people tomorrow. We are sojourners, but we do not go alone. Good thing.

Mumford and Sons

I love the song by Mumford and Sons called White Blank Page. It has some interesting words, great music, and knock-my-socks-off harmony. When my friend in college first introduced me to Mumford and Sons, that was the song that hooked me.

Tonight, I found myself listening to it again. This time, the scene was different from a college dorm room and a computer. I was going home from Dannii's house with three guys in the car. As we zipped through the empty streets of the town, we listened to Mumford and Sons filling the car with music. Our voices joined in, and let me tell you - I really like listening to male voices sing. Not in a weird way. It just sounds good, especially on one of my favorite songs. I stopped singing and just listened and watched them in the car with me.

"Lead me to the truth and I
will follow you with my whole life....
tell me now where was my fault,
in loving you with my whole heart?"

I realized that I really do love these guys with my whole heart. I was surprised by the affection I feel for them. It's not romantic. They are all taken anyway. But we put our hearts on the line, and I chose to love these people even though it was only for a short time. Someone said that these friendships, like flowers, are beautiful especially because of their brevity.

My friends at CanIL have taken my heart, and it's bittersweet to think that this is the end of our time together. I have really enjoyed the summer, and my friends here have made a huge difference in that. They have challenged me to think differently. I have realized that other people speak about concepts in different terms than I do, and I am learning to have a fuller view of life, friendship, God, grammar... I appreciate them for the fun times of hanging out, the help on homework, the moments where we've shared what's important to us.

Sitting in the back seat, singing and listening, I realized that these moments are precious. Sometimes I want to hang onto them, but I can't. We all move on, taking the next steps, being faithful to what the Spirit asks of us. I treasure these friends, late nights, and good music.

Heart...Ahhh....
(listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw-ko6aINI4)