Vida Abundante

“Yo he venido para que tengan vida, y vida en abundancia…”

¿Vida en abundancia? ¿Qué significa? A veces no entiendo…

Cansancio en abundancia, sí. Enfermedad y dolor en abundancia. Guerra y persecución en abundancia cuando veamos las noticias. Migración y discriminación en abundancia…

Dice Jesús que su yugo es ligero (Mat 11:28), pero lo podemos creer? Todos tenemos bastante trabajo por nuestro llamado a este ministerio más la labor en la iglesia, con la familia, en muchos áreas… Todo para cumplir con esta idea de vida abundante, ¿no?

Leamos Salmo 66:8-12…(RV1960) “pasamos por el fuego y el agua, y nos sacaste a abundancia.”

¿Cuántos de nosotros nos sentimos como pasamos por fuego y agua? ¿Por el caos – lo que representa agua para los hebreos -  y sufrimiento?

El año pasado como parte de los Caminantes, leí el libro de Joel Van Dyke que se llama Geografía de Gracia y me marcó la vida porque me hizo pensar en lo que es mi mentalidad acerca de la abundancia. Me di cuenta leyendo este capítulo del libro que aunque diga que creo la Biblia y confío en un Dios de abundancia, pocas veces vivo así. Hoy esta reflexión es así. Una reflexión. No es un paquete envuelto en papel bonito pero son pensamientos y preguntas acerca de la vida abundante.

Jesús también pasaba por pruebas. En capítulo 4 de Mateo, Jesús caminaba en el desierto ayunando por 40 días. 40 días que le recordaba de los 40 años de los israelitas, su pueblo, buscando la tierra prometida. Los israelitas, el pueblo escogido supuestamente, pero ahora en el tiempo de Jesús, están bajo del control del poder militar de Roma. Es un pueblo explotado, pobre, sufriendo… ¿Ellos son los escogidos?

Jesús mismo viene de una familia pobre, migrante. Él conoce el sufrimiento de su pueblo, de su propia vida y de su estómago vacío en este momento cuando Satanás le pregunta una cosa sencilla: “¿Por qué no conviertes las piedras a pan?” Lógico que el Hijo de Dios, supuestamente poderoso y bondadoso debe usar su poder no solo para aliviar su propio hambre pero de su gente también. Imagínense un desierto lleno de piedras, convertidas a pan – ¡nadie tendrá hambre jamás!

Piénsenlo… Es lo que nosotros soñamos, verdad? Usar nuestras dones para aliviar y resolver los problemas del mundo… de la nación… de la ciudad… de la comunidad… ¡por lo menos de nuestra familia o propia vida!

Geografía de Gracia nos recuerda que Jesús resistió la tentación a resolver sus propios problemas. Se dio cuenta que la abundancia de Dios no tiene sentido en nuestro mundo muchas veces. Él es el sembrador que lanza preciosa semilla en cualquier lugar. Él es el que cambia agua sucia en vino fino. El amor abundante de Dios nos invita a la mesa donde todos tenemos lugar. Podemos "re-imaginar la economía de Dios como una de descuidada abundancia." Cuando veamos toda la humanidad como a un amigo somos más generosos y las posibilidades de abundancia abundan. Quizá si Jesús hubiera cambiado las piedras a pan en ese momento estaríamos esclavos a milagros y nuestras propias soluciones a los problemas. Pero Jesús responde al tentador que vivimos de todo lo que sale de la boca de Dios (Mat 4:4). Jesús resiste al mito de la escasez y le ve a Dios como amigo confiable. Hay suficiente. !Hay suficiente!

Mary Jo Leddy escribe:

La economía del amor de Dios no está basada en una ley de escasez sino que está enraizada en el misterio de la superabundancia. La decisión personal o política de declarar que no hay suficiente es el inicio de crueldad, guerra y violencia social en una insignificante gran escala. Por el otro lado, la elección de afirmar que hay suficiente para todos es el inicio de comunidad, paz y justicia social. La opción de asumir que hay suficiente libera la imaginación para pensar en nuevas posibilidades políticas y económicas.

 Cuando confiamos que hay suficiente y Dios es capaz de darnos todo lo que necesitamos aun en abundancia, vivimos con amor. Con generosidad. Con paz. Confiamos que hay suficiente pan para todos si solo podemos ver y abrazar esta verdad.

==Ejercicio de pan: Todos reflexionamos en lo que significa vida abundante para cada uno de nosotros en silencio. Yo sé que el silencio nos cuesta pero ponemos lo que aprendemos en Faithwalking en práctica ahorita para reflexionar individualmente. Toman un pedazo de pan mientras piensan… (cada persona tomó un pedazo de pan de un pan grande, y al final sobró un tercero. Después repartí el mismo tamaño de pan pero ya cortado en pedazos y algunas personas casi no recibieron nada).

No sabía si este ejercicio iba a funcionar o no, pero parece que sí. Y no estoy diciendo que no tenemos que ser buenos mayordomos. Pero siempre hay una tensión en la vida, y hoy nos enfocamos en la abundancia. Cuando nosotros decidimos cuánto podemos dar, cuánto Dios puede dar, repartimos todo según nuestros cálculos y a veces ajuste. A veces falta y a veces sobra, pero no sabemos y nos afanamos por tener el control. Al otro lado, si confiamos que en Dios hay suficiente y lo dejamos a él repartir, sobra. ¡Sobra! Hay suficiente. Cuando yo vivo con mis manos cerradas y reparto todo a mi estimación, me preocupo siempre, pero cuando vivo con las manos abiertas y reparto liberamente, sobra.

¿Realmente lo creemos? Cambiemos nuestra mentalidad de escasez a una de abundancia. Digamos que creemos la Biblia. Creemos que Dios tiene el ganado de cien pastos, como dice Salmo 50:10. Creemos cuando Jesús nos reta en Lucas 6:38 diciendo: “Den y se les dará: se les echará en el regazo una llena, apretada, sacudida y desbordante. Porque en la medida que midan a otros, se les medirá a ustedes.” Vivimos con abundancia, descansando y confiando en el Señor que hay suficiente. Suficiente dinero para el presupuesto… suficiente tiempo para el horario… suficiente gracia cuando tenemos que decir “no” y reconocer que alguien más tiene que reponer nuestro esfuerzo. Dice Juan 10:10 que el ladrón sólo viene para robar, matar y destruir… Buscando en el contexto lo que Jesús quiere decir con vida abundante, vemos el contraste. Jesús nos regala… no roba; nos resucita… no mata; nos edifica… no destruye. Tenemos vida abundante cuando le seguimos a él, nuestro buen pastor. Él es la puerta, las ovejas le reconocen su voz y le siguen. Esa es la vida en abundancia.

Cerramos con Salmo 145:14-21 (DHH)… Abre las manos. Sacia lo que necesitan los seres vivos. Cumple con los deseos del corazón. Vivamos con una mentalidad de la vida de abundancia.

[Esta es una reflexión que di en Centro Nehemías durante el tiempo devocional el lunes 21 de septiembre.]

Late but Sure (Tarde pero Seguro)

I am very bad at this communication thing lately, and I apologize. I noticed that although I write excellent blogs in my head on the bus to or from a meeting or activity, I never seem to get it down on my computer once I get home. However, it's high time for at least a skimming update of life in the last few months. Maybe I'll actually get some of those wonderful blogs published too. Be prepared for a flood of outdated information.

Julie and me getting to know each other again

Most of my blogs lately have to do with IMPACT because that's been a major part of my focus in the last few months. I had the extraordinary opportunity to go to Europe for a vacation at the beginning of July. With a week of holidays left in addition to mid-year office shut-down, I had time. It has been two years since I lived in the Netherlands with my Dutch brother and his family, and I have a Dutch niece who is growing up without knowing me. So I bought a ticket and went for a visit. The time was spent getting reacquainted with the family, wooing a Terrible Two Year Old who doesn't understand me, popping around museums and cycling around the royal city of The Hague. I also spent a few days in Germany with our German exchange student and his family, mostly trotting along behind him at a construction site where his is the project manager and architect, and eating really good food. Then I went for a few days to Romania to spend some time with the original IMPACT people, understand the culture of that country more, and spend time with people I usually just email. It was a very beneficial trip and gave me a better idea of the possibilities we can consider for IMPACT in Nicaragua. When I returned to the Netherlands, I got to spend a lot of time with my Dutch family and even celebrate my birthday with them.

Birthday brunch at the beach with my Dutch family

Returning to Nicaragua, I welcomed my first visitor! My friend and former college roommate, Angelina, came to visit for a week. We have been talking about her coming to visit since I first came to Nicaragua, and it finally worked out! While she was here I had less work than I anticipated so we got to spend time doing tourist activities. I really appreciated being able to show someone my life in Nicaragua and see the wonder in her eyes when she ate new foods, rode on public transportation, or climbed a volcano. The visit also helped me transition back into work after the jet lag wore off, so it was perfect timing.

Angelina and me climbing a volcano - but really just enjoying being together

After Angelina left, it was nose to the grindstone. I worked on IMPACT plans and budgets. I made my first multi-plan budget with the help of some friends at the Nehemiah Center, and I feel quite proud of that four-sheet document with different projections of plans and costs for the upcoming year. We had regional leaders meetings - the first of their kind in Nicaragua! Romania involved some Latin American countries in a grant request for the European Union, so I participated with feedback and filling out some paperwork (we'll see if our project is approved!). Just this week, the first IMPACT project was carried out in Chinandega - a work of mercy from a group of young people to some needy families in the community, and I had the honor of accompanying them.

An interactive activity at an IMPACT training

We were also very busy with the strategic plan at the Nehemiah Center. For the past year, I have been involved in meetings to discuss the future of the Nehemiah Center. We went through outside evaluations, conversations with champions, workshops, and soul-searching. After four different versions of a new vision and mission, we finally have a document to present to the General Assembly. Think the equivalent of a Parent-Teacher Assembly for a school or the Congregational Meeting at a church - the voting body that approves or disapproves of future plans and budgets of the institution. That vote happens tomorrow, so we will see what happens, but I am happy that after all the long hours, going to Managua twice a week, and taking a book's worth of notes, we have something to show for our efforts, and all of us on the committee feel good about it.

I'm with a team in this picture, but our committee spent a lot of time in this room of the NC

Another major aspect of life lately has been SPIN students; that is, university students on a study abroad program from Dordt College. I was a SPIN student 5 years ago, and now my housemate is the director of the program. I am the Spanish linguistics instructor as well as the facilitator for their service-learning class. I have been finding places around León for students to volunteer and arranging with them and their placements an agreement for their three weeks of volunteering in November. There are 8 students this year, and despite the fact that they take over my house for Spanish classes every day, they are a pretty cool bunch. I wasn't so thrilled with the full house last week when I got sick, but I feel much better now, and therefore much more hospitable.

Lirio de los Valles, one of the schools where students will be serving in classrooms

In other news, this week it has been raining in Nicaragua! It is supposed to be the middle of the rainy season right now, with heavy rains every day from now until October. However, it has been a very dry year for those of us in the Western region of Nicaragua. Thankfully, we have been receiving showers several days a week over the last couple of weeks, and the temperatures are much more pleasant. That's a good thing because my housemates and I have decided to participate in a two-day course for massage with a friend of mine. Last week Sunday we sweat enough during the course to water a small garden, but hopefully this Sunday it will be much nicer weather for us to practice our healing touch.

One of my housemates, Kelsey, and I - wouldn't you want a massage from us?

That's most of the news lately. September brings some partnership developments, more IMPACT consolidation, and tying up details for SPIN student placements. More specific details and thoughts will follow... maybe. ;)

The Impact of IMPACT

Some days it's easy to discouraged in IMPACT Clubs here in Nicaragua. Our clubs are faltering, closing and opening, numbers dwindling, leaders losing motivation... But once in a while, there's a story, or a training, or a visit, or a project, or even just one club member that reminds me that it's all worth it.

This week I have been working on semi-annual reports to send to Romania, the originating organization of IMPACT Clubs. I recently had the privilege of visiting them for a few days while on holiday in Europe, and I was greatly encouraged by my time with them. We are poised for take off here in Nicaragua with our clubs. Thanks to a June training with two people from Honduras who have been involved in IMPACT clubs for years, our leaders feel motivated, and some are going to open new clubs. Nothing major has happened yet, but it will soon.

Nothing major meaning no community service-learning projects. None at all. IMPACT Clubs have been functioning in Nicaragua for over a year, and no one has even carried out a street cleanup. This is very puzzling since it's one of the main purposes for IMPACT Clubs. IMPACT, for those who don't know, gives youth a group to belong to (besides gangs) and teaches them values and life skills so that they can contribute to their own neighborhoods and cities. It's really weird. Clubs plan the whole project, but when the date for actually carrying out the project approaches, members stop coming to meetings or they are nowhere to be found the day of the project.

However, there is a club that should be completing its first project next week. I talked about it in my report, and I thought I would share it here, too.

The IMPACT Club from Carlos Fonseca in Chinandega, led by Mauren, has had its ups and downs. There are 5 dedicated members from Mauren’s church, but they are mostly family. These core members walk 20 minutes from the church to the neighborhood of Carlos Fonseca and meet with young people – mostly men – on a street corner Wednesday afternoons. Some church members – including one who is in the club – live in this neighborhood. Since the club began meeting in this neighborhood, several people have offered their houses as a meeting space so that if it is raining or very sunny, the group can meet indoors instead of on the street corner.

When Mauren first approached the youth in this neighborhood about starting an IMPACT club, she was very nervous because she is a young, Christian lady and most of the members are young men who are older than her and do not go to church. However, they accepted the idea and Mauren’s leadership. Though the numbers vary, Mauren considers her club to have about 12 active members, and 6 or more who are inactive, drifting in and out of meetings. Others visit but do not integrate into the club. In the past few months, the Carlos Fonseca club has been suffering from low numbers and low motivation.

However, with the training in June, Mauren received more training and a renewed desire to make this club work. They began discussing project ideas, and many ideas were suggested. At a meeting in which I accompanied them, just the church members of the club showed up because they held the meeting in the church. Each person gave an opinion of a project. Some talked about a spiritual retreat, others a sports afternoon, others a project of mercy for poor children in the Carlos Fonseca community. However, none of the ideas got full support from the 6 people gathered, and they saw many obstacles. When they considered that the purpose of the project is to serve the community, they started reconsidering. Then someone mentioned the idea of going to visit the jail. 

The departmental (like state in the US) penitentiary is located in the Carlos Fonseca neighborhood, and several young people from the community are in that jail. Mauren had been told that going to the jail did not count as a project, but it had not been explained clearly that the jail was next to the neighborhood. I encouraged them to consider this project again, especially after hearing that it had originated as an idea from the neighborhood club members. The club decided to go forward with the idea of visiting the penitentiary as a project.

As part of their preparation, the core members of the group, who all belong to the same church, decided to fast weekly and spend time in prayer for this project. They meet to pray and fast on the same day, and it has been increasing their faith. They have seen that this idea is from the Lord because the church and two individuals have been collaborating with them. The club has been collecting clothing and basic supplies to give to the 26 prisoners they will visit – 13 men and 13 women. Mauren testifies that the morale of the club is much higher, the youth in the neighborhood have been participating more faithfully, and the core group from the church has become very dedicated as well. They hope to visit the jail in the first week of August, depending on when they can get approval from the authorities.

In Nicaragua, faith cannot be separated from the clubs. Even in clubs where the majority of members are not Christians, they insist on praying during meetings, and they bring up spiritual themes. Mauren’s club has seen the power of prayer and fasting in their time of preparation for this project, and they are hopeful and trusting in the Lord that their club will be strengthened through this project in the jail. 

Jail Bird

I think I could die happy from this point on. Meaning, I feel satisfied with my life thus far; I have served a purpose and followed God's calling in my life and actions.

Yesterday I went north to Somotillo. Even though this is an active community in the community development program and is working hard to get an IMPACT Club going, we don't go there very often because it's three hours away from León. I went to Somotillo with a team in January, but I don't think I have been back since then. Maybe once.

Anyways, I went yesterday because one of the young guys from the community that I know is in jail. Last weekend during our IMPACT leaders' training, I found out, and I wanted to visit even before the club leader gave a group pep talk about getting involved in the young people's lives and going to visit them even in jail since that's what the Bible tells us to do (Matthew 25 Jesus talks about giving food, clothing, shelter, visits to the "least of these" because we are doing it for him). So yesterday I went to a Nicaraguan jail.

It was technically not my first jail visit. I've been on school field trips. In March I translated for a team that went with a church group to the local jail. However, it's the first time I've actually visited someone I know, and the first time I have been responsible for what I say. There was some confusion as to whether it would just be with the two guys from the community I work with, or if I would talk with all the inmates. I went prepared for talking to all the inmates, but I was relieved that I only had personal conversations with the community guys one at a time, accompanied by two community leaders and long-time Nehemiah Center agents of transformation. We gave everyone juice and cookies, and brought lunch to the two guys from the barrio.

On the bus, I was thinking of what in the world I could say to these Nicaraguan men who have had a life so different from anything I've ever known. What would I want someone to say to me if I were in jail? I'm sure they hear messages of repentance and judgement as often as they get visitors. Was that really what I wanted to transmit to them? 

I went to the jail not to complete some holy commandment in the Bible, but because I knew one of the guys. When I went with a team to the community, I didn't know very many youth. We needed water for the team, and a young man I didn't know from Adam volunteered to take some money and return with two water jugs. I sent him off with a decent sum of money and a lot of trust that he would bring me change and a receipt. I didn't even know his name - just that he had orange-tinted hair. Let's call the guy Orange from now on since I believe in protecting identities. He came back. Then at the end of April, he was at our national IMPACT event. When he was present, he was definitely a leader. All the guys in the group followed his lead whether he asked them to or not. However, he kept sneaking off by himself to smoke or drink, and when people went to look for him, he told them not to bother because he didn't matter to anyone. I remember thinking that he needed someone to invest in him, to speak truth to him that he was truly important.

Call it the Holy Spirit, 27 years in the faith, or good thinking (I opt for the Holy Spirit) brought Isaiah 43 to mind when I was thinking of what I could say to Orange and the other inmates.

Descendants of Jacob,
I, the Lord, created you
    and formed your nation.
Israel, don’t be afraid.
    I have rescued you.
I have called you by name;
    now you belong to me.
2 When you cross deep rivers,
I will be with you,
    and you won’t drown.
When you walk through fire,
you won’t be burned
    or scorched by the flames.

3 I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
    the God who saves you.
I gave up Egypt, Ethiopia,[a]
and the region of Seba[b]
    in exchange for you.
4 To me, you are very dear,
    and I love you.
That’s why I gave up nations
    and people to rescue you.

5 Don’t be afraid! I am with you.

So I read this passage to Orange when he said he wanted a change in his life. I told him he was loved, that he was important and special to God. He looked at us with tears in his eyes and said he didn't want to go on the same way. I also read to him from later in Isaiah 43:25 where God says he will wipe away sins and forget the wrongs committed against him. Then he asked us to pray, and he repeated a prayer of repentance and surrender to the Lord. One of the community leaders with me talked to him about the importance of making different choices and being a leader once he is out of jail as well. Time will tell what God will do with this young man who has so much potential. 

At the end of the day, a situation that made me really nervous (visiting a jail for the first time and talking to young guys I didn't know) turned out to be a clear example of how God is working in my life and the lives of others. Just a week ago I had said that one of my dreams was to be used as an instrument for God's glory especially in bringing someone to salvation, but I could not have predicted it might have happened so soon afterwards. To God be the glory, and may we all be willing vessels in the Potter's hands.

Serving with Eyes Wide Open

Living in another country, it is easy to hear the criticisms from detractors -both foreign and national- and become discouraged in mission. The temptation to think of international participation as "the talent" can be strong when working overseas. What right, really, do I have to tell people who are older, more experienced, and fully immersed in local culture what we should be doing in any respect? Visiting the pastors and leaders who are connected to the Nehemiah Center, it is easy to see that they are talented, passionate, effective people in their communities, so why should I be here? I'm not the only one who asks this question. Some of the participants who visit on service-and-learning or vision trips ask the same things. They wonder what good they can really do here long-term. They see that Nicaraguans have good networks and are organized among themselves. They can raise funds and build new classrooms for their schools. So why are we here?

For a long time I have been convinced that despite the reservations many North Americans have with foreign missions, and especially the short-term model, international exchange is a good thing. It has a biblical basis on many levels. Jesus told his followers to go and make disciples of all nations. That is a call for all followers everywhere to join in discipling each other. Ephesians 2 talks about how all have been reconciled through Christ so there is no dividing wall anymore. What better way to show that than to work together as Christians in our different contexts? Furthermore, I have been reading a book by David Livermore called Serving with Eyes Wide Open, and he points out that God's mission really began with Adam and Eve when he commissioned them to be his agents in the world. We are created to be the presence of God in the world, wherever we are. Yes, we are needed. Not in the sense that we have so much to give to those who are poor (although that is sometimes true) but because we are all part of the Body of Christ, and when we practice interdependence, we are participating in God's expanding Kingdom on earth.

Besides the biblical model of reconciliation and interdependence, there are other arguments for cross-cultural missions. We can learn from each others successes and failures, strengths and weaknesses. One example from my life is that Nicaraguan pastors want to get together for prayer and fellowship, but if no one heads up the activity and invites all the others, it's difficult for them to actually carry through. Something as simple as a person who coordinates the next gathering via text helps them fulfill their goal of meeting. A church may have grand plans for their building, the workers necessary, but lack the funds to carry out their plans as soon as they would like. An infusion of funds from an outside source can make a big difference. A North American church may want to engage with their local community, but since the majority of members commute to the building, they don't know how to reach out to their neighborhood; a Nicaraguan church that is more community-based can teach their Northern brothers and sisters how to interact effectively with neighbors. The spiritual emphasis of Christians in Latin America is very strong, and North American believers can learn a lot from the testimonies, prayer, and spiritual warfare of Nicaraguan Christians. 

The list of why we should continue to travel to other countries to interact with different people and cultures could go on and on. We are an increasingly globalized society, and we can enjoy the benefits of that while being careful of the negative aspects. For some people, a visit from North Americans may be the only interaction they have with a white face besides what they see on television. Why are we here? To spread the word the Jesus loves all people. That God created us in his image and therefore we all have worth and value. There is no longer a dividing wall because Christ is our peace, and we are all being built together as a holy temple to the Lord.

Family Overseas

It's June, which means I'm thinking about Europe since it's been two years since God changed my heart there in a monastery in France. Two years since I was the nanny to an adorable 5 month old girl. Two years. Not long at all, and yet so long. 

Long because the lapse of time involves family. Little kids who matter to me are growing up, and I don't even recognize them. Granted, internet helps. I can iMessage, WhatsApp, Facebook, and email with my family overseas. But it's not the same.

So three weeks from today, I'm jumping the pond and going to see my Dutch and German brothers and their families. Now, some of you may be confused. What? Adrianna, you always say you just have one younger brother. That's mostly because it's easier than explaining how I have two non-biological brothers. 

My blood brother, Dirk and me

Edo became my Dutch brother when I was one year old. My less-than-thirty parents decided to invite a 16-year-old into their house when they had a baby around too. When my babysitter suggested my parents needed to have another child, I adamantly declared that I didn't need a little brother - Edo was my brother! And he has been ever since then with visits an average of every three years of my life.  He was at my high school graduation. I signed as a witness at his wedding. He helped me celebrate my 21st birthday. I helped raise his 4-month-old daughter for three months after I finished school. Our histories weave together like a brother and sister who are 15 years apart. Now his daughter is growing up fast, and it's my turn to visit his family so we keep that connection. 

 

Having fun in Paris together two years ago

Edo's family waving goodbye at the airport

Tobi became part of our family when I was 8 years old. By this time my brother Dirk had been born, and the two of us were constantly going into Tobi's room, invading his privacy, driving him nuts. We had some rough patches, but at the end of the year, Tobi was family too. Hey, who isn't after they teach you how to shoot birds in the barn with a nail gun?

Tobi, his wife, and his daughter in Germany

Tobi's newborn son and me when I visited two years ago

My family has visited and received both Edo's and Tobi's families, and we all have a good relationship with each other since they can thankfully speak English. So when I say I'm going to Europe to visit family, it feels like the right description. They are more than friends to me.

I go back and forth feeling guilty and excited about this trip. Really? Going to Europe again after just two years? Aren't you on a missionary budget? Yes, but I've been saving for this trip, and this is not just a college backpacking trip. I need to see people because this is time that I can never get back with these kids who are growing up. Plus, I'll be squeezing in some work and visiting some IMPACT club leaders in Romania since I'm already over there. And I'm using one of the office's vacation weeks to go, so it's a good use of time instead of sitting around doing nothing or trying fruitlessly to work in Nicaragua. 

So that's my big news today. I'm cleaning my room and dancing around because I'm so excited. In the next few weeks, there are several big things happening, but I'll write more about those when the time comes. For now, I'm celebrating my foreign family, looking forward to seeing them.

Mother's Day Weekend

Nicaraguans celebrate Mother's Day on May 30, and this year, that happened to be a Saturday. So how did I spend my weekend? Taking care of a child.

On Friday I went to visit my two former host mothers in León - one from 5 years ago and one from 1 year ago. Mother's Day is a really big deal here. They put on school programs, businesses and government jobs shut down for the day, and there are decorations with feminine colors everywhere in the streets, the houses, the offices. People go to spend time with their mothers and bring them something special or take them out to eat. I knew that I would not be in León on the official Mother's Day, so I went to my mothers on Friday afternoon to drop off their gifts and give them hugs to tell them how much I appreciate them.

I wasn't around on Saturday because I went to Managua to a friend's house, and while the parents went out with their teenage children for the weekend, I got to hang out with their adorable four year old son. From lunchtime Saturday to dinnertime Sunday, this little boy got my full attention. It was a wonderful break for me because I didn't have to try to do much else than manage the house and attend to his needs. We watched the cars pass on the road while sipping juice boxes, went to a park in downtown Managua with my uncle and enjoyed a miniature model of old Managua and a life-sized airplane as well as ice cream, fried chicken, and rice. I got to let him run around the grocery store like a crazy person, laughing at his antics. Sunday he sat by his best friend in church, and afterwards he got to ride his bike around. He was always glad to go to bed because each sleep brought the return of his family closer.

While we played in the hose and washed the car, I thought about what it means to take care of a child, and how I have had that privilege in so many children's lives. Some people may be good at babysitting because they want kids and consider it practice. I, on the other hand, am good at babysitting because I really like the kids I watch, and I can pour myself into them because I have no other responsibilities. I have the luxury of dedicating all my time to this child instead of trying to work, take care of other kids, clean the house, book flights to visit family, etc. For me, babysitting is the gift of being forced to live in the moment.

Around Mother's Day (in any country, I imagine), there is a lot of talk of potential mothers for single or childless women. I don't think of it that way. Instead, I remember the children I have built relationships with throughout the years. I think of my own babysitters and how special the regulars were to me. I think of the first few families who were my own regulars, going to their house several days a week after school or during the summer. I think of my Dutch niece and being her nanny while I lived in the Netherlands. I think of the family in BC that still makes me want to cry for missing them, and how I got to join life with them. I think I've already received a taste of what it is like to be a mother. I'm content with my place in life, and I'm happy to serve tired and frazzled parents with a break in their routine while I take care of their kids for a few hours or a few days.

It's a gift to be a mother, but it's also a gift to be a babysitter. I don't think of myself as a potential mother around Mother's Day; rather, I'm thankful for the kids that in some small way, I get to consider mine.