Things That Make My Day at CanIL

At CanIL, these are a few of my favorite things! with pictures to boot :)

This is my roommate, Brenda B. She made a moose (with Jannel) for Canada Day. It was a piñata. Oh yeah!

Charles (on the right in the burgundy shirt) has some of the best facial expressions - makes me laugh a lot.

Keilan (on the left, in black and purple), is funny, too. He's from Lethbridge - close to my people! It makes my day that he frequently closes his eyes and nods in class (but he hears everything - according to him!)

Dannii Johnson. Period.

(I'm going to live with this girl this fall!)

Chris flutters his eyelashes sometimes. Accidentally, though. 

He is a very tall Minnesotan who likes to cook, bake, and make sarcastic comments.

Mike (the one in the baseball hat and gray) straightens his desk a lot during class.

His son, Tobias, has crazy blue eyes that are opened very wide...almost all the time.

This is Morgan, my TA for phonetics class. I really like phonetics. Morgan's pretty cool too. 

In this photo he was being a "dictator" for a phonetics class skit the Staff at CanIL put on for us students.

This is the CanIL building on Trinity Western's campus. It's where I spend my scholarly time. 

Several things that make my day happen here, such as:

I can get coffee for $0.25

Breakfast for free! Either at ACTS (the seminary, once a month) or CanIL (Saturdays)

Free candy in class or at the front desk (good stuff, too! like chocolate...mmm)

In Grammar class, for an example of transitivity during the Voice and Valence lecture, we looked at example sentences like, "I drink beer, I drank 2 beers, and I went beer-drinking." Oh yes. :)

Lindsey (pictured above) creeped me on facebook when she noticed we had a mutual friend - and told me that when she introduced herself to me. lol
Also, she and her roommate Amber have great accents that they use with each other.

My mom sent me the best cake of my life (at least, that I can remember) for my birthday! :)
Even though they're not here, I like my family quite a bit. Talking with them makes my day.

Peter and I pick on each other a lot. He's a cool dude. And he's very generous with his car.

I live here, and while dorm life took some adjusting, I like it now, especially for:

The boys' haiku board on second floor

Notes and quotes on the girls' third floor whiteboards

I learned how to make homemade bread! And I've made it several times! Thanks to Peter.

Peter's, Chris's, and Anthony's (pictured above) sunburns (neck up) after weekend camping.

Big Sky postal district got swallowed up by the Dakota district (funny in itself) so Brenda had to go take a test to get her Montana job again. Just before the test, this is what she was doing. Yup, that's my roommate!

These are just a few examples of the stuff I love about being here at CanIL. Although I complain sometimes, it's a great place with great people. 

God is good, all the time!

Friends

I’m kind of persnickety about the word “friend.” Just ask some of mine… I have a whole hierarchy of relationships.  Well, at least I used to. I told my friends during my first year at Dordt about my friend system. At that time, I thought that I had to have meaningful conversations with a “friend” regularly, like every six weeks or so. Or, alternatively, I had to have been friends with them for a long time. So, the equation for a “friend” was heart-to-heart + length of relationship = friend.

I would have been hesitant to really think about people as true friends if I’d known them less than a month. Or something like that. I guess I often think that the majority of people, once we get to know each other after basic introductions, will not continue to be friendly.

I am learning that’s not true.

I have been making friends here at CanIL even though we know we will only be together 9 weeks. I don’t know how some of these friendships will survive, but I’m trusting God with that part. I’m still giving them my heart. Sometimes I’m caught off guard by these friendships, but they remain. I cannot deny that people here are my friends, really and truly, despite whatever restrictions I may want to put on the word. How else can I explain these people? They threw me a birthday party and bought me a bike! They ask me to do things with them. They forgive me when I’m crabby or have no filter on the things I say. They make me laugh, and they let me cry. These people encourage each other, support each other, pray for each other. Whether or not it’s advantageous for them, they spend time with me. They are friends.

So are the people scattered around the world that I love. Sometimes I don’t talk to them for months, but they are still my friends, somehow. Yes, there are different levels of friendship, I’m sure, but I cannot say they are not my friends. The more I get to know people, the more I realize that they mess up my neat categories. Friends cannot be put in an itemized list of requirements. They are gifts, gifts from my truest friend, Jesus.

Really, friendship is about unconditional love. People love you and you love them for no explainable reason. You do things with and for them, simply because you want to. I did a psychology  project about friends, and the explanations left a lot to be desired. Why are people friends? I happen to think it’s because we are loved by the greatest Friend of all. Through all of these people in my life – these friends – I learn more about love (God) and who He is, and how I can be a good friend to others.

      A friend loves at all times. 

      He is there to help when trouble comes.

        ~Proverbs 17:17 NIRV

Herded

If the Lord is my Shepherd, that makes me a sheep. Yup, I can agree with that. I have definitely been herded lately. Let me share some news with you: I have decided to stay in British Columbia for the next 2-3 years to study for a master’s degree in linguistics and exegesis. I don’t have a plan further than that (surprise, surprise), but I know the next step.

A lot of things seem right about this decision. People in my life whose opinions I value have encouraged me to get a master’s degree. My goal has not been to go to grad school, but it appears that my expectations are not always accurate. I’ve been convinced that a master’s degree would be good, and I would really enjoy studying linguistics more. Also, I have always wanted to learn the original languages of the Bible, and studying exegesis will give me that opportunity. I will receive a seminary degree so my options in ministry are still open even though linguistics is part of the package.

A lot of opportunities have arisen while I have been deciding what to do. The financial aid here is really good, and some unexpected money has come to me through other people and jobs I’ve been given (like more hours and higher pay at Dordt). I have good options for housing, and the Lord has given me transportation! I like the community here at CanIL, and it is a great bunch of people with whom to spend the next chunk of life. Although I’m not sure what comes after studying, Bible translation is an option, and I can witness that field first hand here.

Finally, this decision seems right to me because I am not totally in love with the idea. British Columbia is nice, but it makes me feel a bit hemmed in. Langley is the closest thing to a city that I’ve ever lived in, and the Trinity Western campus is kind of isolated. I can’t simply hop on my bike and go whizzing through the streets of subdivisions here. I hardly ever see the stars because the clouds and trees are in the way. I always hear traffic. Yes, there are beautiful vistas and such, but sometimes I need wide open spaces…

Call me a plains girl, I guess.

Before I came, I was worried that I would decide to stay here because it would be the easiest option. I thought I would absolutely love it, and I wouldn’t want to leave regardless of where God was leading. My complaints about BC convince me even more that this is not just my idea. God is definitely nudging me. He’s opening doors, and He’s inviting me to follow regardless of my hesitations and objections. If I really believe that I won't lack anything, I guess I can put my worries about sunshine and openness and travel and work and everything else aside. I will be provided for. 

Thanks for praying for me. I cannot deny God's leading even though it hasn't been a clarion call from the sky. I still don't know what's ahead, but I have been inexplicably nudged in this direction. Herded, prodded, led.The Lord is my shepherd, and he leads me.

23

"The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul."

Oh yes. Psalm 23 is a poem/prayer that is close to my heart, and it is being fulfilled in my life. My birthday was a great day despite the fact that I went to school for the first time in my life on my birthday. People at CanIL made me feel special and celebrated. People called, texted, and emailed throughout the day to let me know they were thinking about me. I felt celebrated and loved (thus, I have decided that anyone who feels depressed should have a birthday, at least, as long as they have people as cool as I do in their lives).

In the evening a group of friends went to my friend Dannii's house. We had a great time hanging out, eating candy, playing games, doing homework, cooking food, and eating! I really enjoyed the gathering. It hadn't been planned as a birthday party, but it seemed to end up that way, and I was honored. While we were eating, they brought me a bucket, and when I pulled out the recyclables, I found a bike helmet! It is a beautiful helmet with fuschia and silver designs on it. I was thrilled!

That was not the end of the gift, though. They told me there was something to go with the helmet and they led me outside to my outbursts of disbelief and surprise. The garage door opened... A bike! A bunch of people from CanIL had pitched in to get me a bike for my birthday! I was completely surprised and overjoyed!

I have been missing my bike a lot here in BC. I was planning to get one somehow, but I hadn't put any effort into the search. I had mentioned to God that I would really appreciate a bike and helmet in passing, but I wasn't expecting anything yet. My friends here in BC not only acted as fantastic friends, but they have also been the instruments of God. The Lord is meeting my needs and even my wants. He leads me on good paths, preparing a feast for me that I did not expect or deserve. My parents also told me we are going to figure out something for a phone for me as my gift! Again, not expecting this generosity.

The best part about my birthday was not the actual presents (although those were great ways that God answered my requests) but the way that I felt loved. I've only known people in BC for a month, and they were SO loving and generous. My family and friends that I have known for a long time also made me feel very special and loved. My heart is warm, no - bursting!

Yes, this will be a great year. The Lord is my Shepherd. I will lack nothing. I am so thankful for all the people Jesus uses to be his hands and lips to kiss and hug and love me. What more can I say? I am overwhelmed by these gifts I don't deserve or expect - grace.

Come, exalt the Lord with me, for he is good, and his love endures forever. Hope revives and grace abounds.

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

Today is my birthday. Birthdays make me reflect on the past year. I'm always amazed by how much has happened and how where I am now isn't where I thought I'd be a year ago. Birthdays also remind me of how good God is.

Every year, I have a "theme" psalm. I started when I was 15, and the psalm correlates with my age. So this past year, I focused on Psalm 22. As I read it as my "year" psalm for the last time last night, I was amazed by how many verses spoke into my life over the past year. There have been hard times. When I was 21, I really wrestled with God over some things, and I was ready for verses 1 and 2 that ask God why he has forsaken me, crying out to him. But then there is hope. The Holy One is still enthroned despite my questions and heartbreaks.

I come from a family of faith. Verses 4-5 testify to my family's faith in God; they have not been disappointed by the Faithful one. From the time I was born, I was thrust upon the Lord. He has been my God from the womb, just like Psalm 22:9-11 says.

In the past year, I have been afraid. I have felt surrounded by beasts that are threatening me. Just the future can feel like a bull charging at me. In the midst of uncertainties and hard lessons, I have felt weak, like my heart has turned to wax and there is nothing left of me. But the Lord has not been far off, he has rescued me.

Therefore, I will declare the goodness of the Lord to others. I have tried and will continue to try to live my life for the glory of the Lord. He has not left me alone. As I look at the coming year and keep exploring what God has for my life, I wonder how Psalm 22-31 will look in my life. I'm considering ministry or Bible translation. Perhaps God will use my gifts in a very practical way to praise him in the great assembly. Future generations will be told about and serve the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn - for He has done it. May God use me as He will in the coming year(s) of my life, and may He use you, too.

²⁴ For he has not despised or disdained
   the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
   but has listened to his cry for help.

 ²⁵ From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
   before those who fear you^[e] will I fulfill my vows.
²⁶ The poor will eat and be satisfied;
   they who seek the LORD will praise him—
   may your hearts live forever!
²⁷ All the ends of the earth
   will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
   will bow down before him,
²⁸ for dominion belongs to the LORD
   and he rules over the nations.

²⁹ All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
   all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
   those who cannot keep themselves alive.
³⁰ Posterity will serve him;
   future generations will be told about the Lord.
³¹ They will proclaim his righteousness
   to a people yet unborn—
   for he has done it.

Why do I love Jesus?

Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water here at CanIL. A Christian Reformed girl in the midst of people with very diverse faith backgrounds. I was very excited to meet a guy who knew who Abraham Kuyper was and seemed to have a high opinion of him. I’m not usually a person who puts a LOT of emphasis on denominational affiliations, but here, when I feel alone, it’s more important. I think it’s the knowledge that people from the same denomination understand a way of thinking and share a common background with me. I feel more “at home” with them.

It’s not just a way of thinking, though, that’s different. People from other faith backgrounds have a different way of speaking. Others’ willingness to speak about Jesus and what God is doing in their lives makes me think about how I can explain my faith more, too. A lot of times I feel like I do not voice my beliefs very well or very readily. So I find myself revisiting questions like, “What is my testimony? Why do I love Jesus?”

Many times I feel like I do not have good answers to these questions. I don’t have a dramatic conversion story. I didn’t see a lightning bolt from heaven that told me to be a missionary or anything. I’m being herded, as I explain it. I do not have a plan for the future. God has called me to follow him and be faithful, and CanIL is where I sense him nudging me. I’m not always happy about it. I don’t feel adequate for what I seem to be undertaking. I can’t even explain my faith or why I’m a Christian. I don’t have a story that will wow the crowd and convince anyone I meet to believe in Jesus.

And yet. As I was walking by the pond, pondering why I love Jesus, the answer came to me. I love Jesus because he first loved me. He chose me. I have a heritage of faith that I cannot deny, and I am a product of God’s work  - not only in my own life but also in my parents’ and grandparents’ lives. When I think of the stories of God’s grace in my parents’ lives, awe comes over me. God has done great things! I can’t tell their stories of grace, but I am a part of it. Jesus amazes me in the ways He has worked in my dad’s and mom’s lives.

Perhaps, then, I am a bit like Samuel. I’m not saying my parents prayed for me and dedicated me to the Lord (they haven’t told me that as part of my story directly, at least), but they have in some senses. They have always told me that I am God’s child, and they are simply his stewards. They want me to follow Jesus wherever he leads. Because of their influence in my life, my faith has been shaped in unique ways. I think of my faith journey not as a conversion but as a maturation. As I have grown up physically, I have grown spiritually. There have been different milestones in my faith walk that have led me to claim Jesus Christ as my Lord more and more, to become an adult in my faith. Instead of simply riding on the current of my family’s faith, it has become my own source of life as well.

I love Jesus because he first loved me. It’s like a guy who expresses interest in me: often I like him simply because he likes me. The guy’s interest in me sparks an interest in him. Same with Jesus: I did not choose him first. It’s a biblical idea.  1 John 4: 19, “We love because he first loved us.” The Spirit touched my soul mysteriously, the Lord God has wooed my heart, the Savior has taken my hand. I make choices to follow him, to be obedient, and to live my life as if it were not for me but for the fame of the one Israel called I AM. He is teaching me that I do not have to have a plan, but I have to trust that He does. He is herding me like a sheep even if I am not sure we are going where I want to go. I love Jesus because he first loved me, and that's enough.