Friends

I’m kind of persnickety about the word “friend.” Just ask some of mine… I have a whole hierarchy of relationships.  Well, at least I used to. I told my friends during my first year at Dordt about my friend system. At that time, I thought that I had to have meaningful conversations with a “friend” regularly, like every six weeks or so. Or, alternatively, I had to have been friends with them for a long time. So, the equation for a “friend” was heart-to-heart + length of relationship = friend.

I would have been hesitant to really think about people as true friends if I’d known them less than a month. Or something like that. I guess I often think that the majority of people, once we get to know each other after basic introductions, will not continue to be friendly.

I am learning that’s not true.

I have been making friends here at CanIL even though we know we will only be together 9 weeks. I don’t know how some of these friendships will survive, but I’m trusting God with that part. I’m still giving them my heart. Sometimes I’m caught off guard by these friendships, but they remain. I cannot deny that people here are my friends, really and truly, despite whatever restrictions I may want to put on the word. How else can I explain these people? They threw me a birthday party and bought me a bike! They ask me to do things with them. They forgive me when I’m crabby or have no filter on the things I say. They make me laugh, and they let me cry. These people encourage each other, support each other, pray for each other. Whether or not it’s advantageous for them, they spend time with me. They are friends.

So are the people scattered around the world that I love. Sometimes I don’t talk to them for months, but they are still my friends, somehow. Yes, there are different levels of friendship, I’m sure, but I cannot say they are not my friends. The more I get to know people, the more I realize that they mess up my neat categories. Friends cannot be put in an itemized list of requirements. They are gifts, gifts from my truest friend, Jesus.

Really, friendship is about unconditional love. People love you and you love them for no explainable reason. You do things with and for them, simply because you want to. I did a psychology  project about friends, and the explanations left a lot to be desired. Why are people friends? I happen to think it’s because we are loved by the greatest Friend of all. Through all of these people in my life – these friends – I learn more about love (God) and who He is, and how I can be a good friend to others.

      A friend loves at all times. 

      He is there to help when trouble comes.

        ~Proverbs 17:17 NIRV