Getting Left Behind

With less than a month to go until I turn 26 and still single, some people are starting to make comments. Nicaraguans frequently ask me if I have a boyfriend. When I tell them no, they ask why not. When I say that God hasn’t put the right person in my life yet, they say that the train is leaving the station, and I should hurry up about finding someone. I tell them that Nicaragua doesn’t even have a train system, so it might as well leave me behind.

I’m not bitter about this. I love my life, and I don’t have any regrets about what I’ve done. I see singleness as a gift, especially now as I live abroad and explore the wonders of the world. In my very limited romantic experience, I’ve learned that when I rush things, they turn out badly. It’s better to relax and wait on the Lord. I trust Him with the timing of things.

I also trust that if I never marry and have children, that’s okay too. I’m not opposed to the idea, but I’m not longing for a family of my own, either. I have many rich relationships that fulfill me and give me a chance to serve others. Furthermore, having a husband and children was never one of my life goals. I didn’t think much about my wedding or how many kids I wanted or what color the walls of my house should be. In fact, I never spent much time planning my future. I’ve seen that people’s plans often change. Who am I to say where God will take me in 10 years? I couldn’t have imagined what my life would look like one year ago, and I don't know how to predict the next one.

But I have had one long-term goal as long as I can remember. To serve the Lord in whatever He asks me to do. My parents taught me from a young age that my faith should affect every facet of my life. I should always do my best in everything, as unto the Lord.  When I became a member of the church at 16, my theme verse was Philippians 1:21, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” I wanted that verse to be the truth of my life. I knew I hadn’t achieved it yet, but I wanted it to be true one day. Obedience is my lifelong goal. And that’s what has brought me thus far. By the grace of God, I have had all sorts of wonderful, undeserved opportunities. I have studied and traveled and met all sorts of people and made many friends. Some people say that my choices have affected my status as a single person. Perhaps I’m intimidating because of my intelligence, or unavailable because of where I choose to live, or too demanding because of my high standards. Perhaps.

Whatever the reasons, I feel content with my life. I believe that I have followed God’s leading in the choices that I have made. Regardless of the consequences, I have felt alive because I have been living out God’s purpose for me in my life. Of course I don’t have the same experiences as some of my friends who are married or have children, but I have other experiences that are also rich. As I learn to be more and more in love with Jesus, I realize that everything else falls into place. Love is the main motivation for everything in life.

So no, I don’t worry about becoming an old maid or getting left behind. The Lord has blessed me in my life. I’m glad that I’ve made the choices I’ve made. And no matter what happens, if at the end of it all I hear, along with all the others, “Well done, good and faithful servant” that will be enough. It has been so far, and it will continue to be. One step at a time, following the Holy Spirit’s dance through life.