Hard Times

Last night, I really missed my Grampa. I was thinking about things that I have suffered in my life, and his death in March has played a huge role in my life this year. My cousin Taylor and I drove a 13 hour (one-way) road trip from Dordt to Ohio to visit Grampa in the hospital, thinking we might never see him again. I got to see him again when I went home for Spring break in March, and I was there when he died.

Grampa's death was the key motivating factor to me living with Gramma this summer. I realized that my idea to live with Grampa and Gramma "someday" wasn't actually much of a plan. Gramma needed someone, and neither of us are getting any younger. So I lived with her this summer and learned a whole new dimension of family.

I was thinking about Grampa because I was thinking about visiting hospitals and suffering. I visited my friend, Daniel, in the hospital last weekend. Well, it was a clinic, not a hospital, but it felt like a hospital. He had pneumonia and had gotten quite sick. So when we found out, some of us went and visited him, IV and all. I don't really know how to visit people when they're sick. The last time I had to was when I visited Grampa...

Daniel is on the mend, though, gracias a Dios. He came with us to the Museum of Legends and Myths today, and he is here with me at the internet cafe. Yes, I'm using a Cyber for the first time. Usually I just go to a coffee shop, buy coffee, and ask for their wireless internet password. But this method is much cheaper. I'll probably switch between the two.

Another reason I was thinking about Grampa is because I was thinking about suffering. Two nights ago, I had a really good conversation with my mamá and younger sister Juniette. They ended up telling me more about their lives and how they've come to live in the house. Mamá went through a lot of suffering. Sometimes she couldn't feed the girls, and she had to rely on God for her daily needs. When they asked me to tell my story, Grampa dying and the events related have probably been one of the hardest times in my life.

Grampa is also the person closest to me who has died. One of Juniette's best friends just died yesterday. She was hit by a truck, and her entrails, according to Juniette, were outside of her. The doctors operated three times, but at the end they couldn't put her together again. Her parents decided to take her off life support, and today Juniette is going to her friend's funeral.

There are times when life is just hard.

It feels a little cheap to smooth the rough edges of pain with comforting words about God. But after the pain subsides, I'm sure glad to find out He's been there the whole time, holding us in His arms.