Solitude

Life in Nicaragua has been good lately, but busy. I have had class in the morning this week. When I get home around 1:30, I eat lunch and do homework. One day I washed my clothes. This may not sound like a great act, but washing clothes in Nicaragua means I haul my laundry out to the lavadero/pila (a big concrete sink thing with water in the middle and two shallow areas that drain on the sides), wet it, soap it, scrub it by hand, rinse it, squeeze it out, and hang it on the line in the courtyard. I actually like doing it, but it's quite time-consuming.

My homework usually consists of reading books by or about Ruben Dario, one of Nicaragua's famous poets. He was actually a journalist, embassador, etc (he had a lot of different titles in his life) as well as the principal figure of the literary movement Modernismo. I have been reading his poems and short stories. This weekend I get to read his thoughts about Nicaragua after he returned for a visit after being in Europe a long time. As a visitor to Nicaragua, I like reading what he appreciated and disliked about his home country.

Last night I went to a beauty pageant sort of thing at the university of Leon (UNAN). The candidates wore traditional dresses, then a costume they made representing something important to Nicaragua (ocean, corn, sun), and finally evening dresses. Between times there were groups that danced and a lot of shouting from the students who were there. After we left the auditorium, my sisters and I had trouble hearing!

This weekend I'm going to the family farm with my mama, then church in the afternoon. Sunday I'm going to the beach for a church service with a pastor who ministers to the youth in Poneloya through sports. After the service I'll watch one of my fellow students, Alex, play baseball.

In the midst of all the busyness, I'm feeling a bit revuelto - scrambled. I think perhaps I need to have some quiet time, but it's hard to find quiet time because there's always someone at my house. I don't like just sitting in my room because 1) it's hot, 2) I can still hear everything because the house is pretty open, 3) I feel like I'm missing things. I'm finding it hard to balance life here in Nicaragua: family and friends, homework and free time, etc. Please pray that I'll be able to decide what things I need to do. I would love to have some alone time, as well, but at this point I don't see how that would be possible because someone is always around me - in the house, in public, when we go out as friends...

Don't get me wrong - I like the things I'm doing. I just feel tired and frazzled today, and I don't know how to make it better. I know that things will change, and with some sleep tonight I'll probably feel better about life. However, I also know that I have a tendency to put other people and their wishes ahead of what's best for me and my relationship with God. Pray for me to be firm about my priorities. Thanks.