The Words Never Come...

Goodbyes are awful.

There comes a time when I either say everything or nothing, and so I lapse into silence... I leave unsaid the words of appreciation, of love, of confession. I leave unsaid the blessings I pray for them, or the tears I cry for them. In those last moments before the end, the words never come.

The hug signals the end. It's hard because it feels so normal. And yet, when we start walking away from each other, I just want to rush back for one last hug. It's like a song that talks about wishing for "one more day" with a loved one, but in the end, it will leave me wishing for just one more day again.

It feels surreal to say goodbye and not know the next time I will be back. Especially when I want to come back more than anything, but doubt that in reality I will. Besides, a visit is never the same. Things will never be the same. Goodbyes are more than bidding farewell to people. They are a way of leaving "life" as it was.

Goodbyes always make me feel melodramatic, I suppose. It won't be that bad, and I know it. I can visit the people I love, and it's not like I will never come back. One of my friends said, "You travel all over the world, to Nicaragua and Canada - why not Sioux Center?" It's true. I can come back. But still. Sometimes goodbyes are just hard. And the words never come...